Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
