I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize