'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
