Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize