i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
