Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize