So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
