yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
