He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
