I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize