I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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