Kareoke will never be a sober sport
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
