he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
