I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
