I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize