I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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