"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
