She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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