If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
