dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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