Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
