you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
