My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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