Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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