she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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