it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
