she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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