I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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