tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize