I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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