can we get nightvision for the apartment?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
