I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
