dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
