I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
