I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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