I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
