Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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