Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
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