You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Semen is not good for contacts.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
