He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
