Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
