A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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