Screwed.edu
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
