One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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