Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
