Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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