For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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