so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
