I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
