just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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