I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I AM VODKA MAN
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
