He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
