So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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