I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
