hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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