I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
