god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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