She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My pussy is not your playground.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
