New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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