Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
