Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
