New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
