Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
