that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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