you guys were way drunker than both of me
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
